mY fiNal yeaR notice...Part 1

[this following blog is a formulated personal diary page format. for the writer,the symbology relates to the intimacy of ones' thoughts,expression of substantial ideas and putting them down in a written space. from the readers,the writer just expects a reciprocation and understanding of themselves and understanding through him.]

(RECOMMEND A MUST READ FOR FINAL YEAR GUYS)
28 sept.'08
9.55pm

Its pitch black outside...actually its the amavalsya onset, the cult,the hour is approaching....the omen of mahalaya is springing up high on my mind....tomorrow morning,5 am to be exact...I am in my verandah,sitting idle down the lazy stairs,calm breeze from the pond flushing my face,all silence admidst the frogs cannoping,firerflies buzzing,crickets moving around aimlessly....but I am not here to say what I see,its about what's on my mind right now....something useless to talk about but something you always carry along...
It is strange what I want from life...everytime I reach a goal,I begin a journey again,in search of a new horizon,setting a new target,improvishing new conscience,rejuvernating new ideas...but this is how life goes on,I console myself..without getting any further..or may be this is the "definition of life".
ya...this is what I dedicate my thoughts to now...my next few lines yearn to find a resonable conclusion to justify my life or rather think twice about the same....k,now its not everyday I think about my life....how I am living and how I will live it. Well,I am plain,middle-classed,averaged,techcrazy,agnostic just like the most of 'us'....here,you don't make your options really,simply chose one of the few favorites someone chose for you...and get going..
I am twenty-one,old enough to understand the value of a single day,every single passing minute and the aspirations,the utility of coming tomorrow yet to shower on me....and yet I follow the same rules,the same guidelines,the prompted fundamentals which was set for me....never ever looking back,never ever asking myself "why?"

Well,the page is not a trendsettler,neither a scrupolous dissatisfaction...it's a revolutionary momentum about how I look at my life....just a little trendy way of looking whats' in and whats' out,whats' done and whats' need to be done,whats' missing and how to settle it,again never asking "why?" because sometimes it doesn't matter....
Let me see why it even occured to me to even write something like this....may be life's dragging me like never before-----scheduled daily routine, the missing randomness, messy deadlines, fucked up surprises,overtly studies,sickly-silly-romantic and friendly ties.......what the ****!!!

It took me a while to study myself,my dissatisfaction,my needs,my business,my self contentedness.....and I felt 'I NEED TO CHANGE SOMETHING'...and I have!!
let me rewind my accomplishments.....

I kept myself busy all times,planned each day ahead, gave myself some air moving around, gave time to myself(thinking about what am doing now), yet find time for my sweetheart, learn and remorse about how someone whose dark, helpful,aspirant and delicate imprints today leaves no mark tomorrow, like he stands a worth "worthless"....anyway,leave it...
I found plaesure in doing something I never did before...singing loud on myself,pouring myself to gossips and new frendlies, stuffing full plate meals, endeavouring a sleek,round physical buildup,exercising 1*7 a week....
In my home,I discover my ping-pong table,my cricket batjust to add some sweat,a daily stadium round up, finishing 50 pages of novel a day, visiting new places I lost interests before,and let me tell you...I REALLY ENJOY MY LIFE NOW....